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Friday, November 4, 2011

Where In the World is Beth?

Not hanging out with Carmen Sandiego…or Matt Lauer for that matter.

Some of you know the drill by now…lots of updates, then silence. Usually that silence means I’ve either (a) seen something shiny or (b) am in a rut and don’t feel like being a Debbie Downer. This time is a combination of both.

The something shiny – my new part time job (catch up: working as a makeup artist for a cosmetics chain, going from store to store when events are being held). I have to say that despite my attack of the nerves, it’s going really well! I was terrified the first day driving in. Would the other kids be nice? What would the customers be like? Would I be able to get the hang of things fast?

Answers: The other kids were beyond nice, they were so kind and embracing of this new kid, not only at the first store I worked at, but at the all of the other stores since. The customers, for the most part, are like most – it’s the old 95%/5% rule – 95% are terrific, but you remember the 5% that are more trying. I try really hard to remember the 95% and remember that everybody has a bad day. As for getting the hang of things, “Fake it Until You Make it” has been my motto when I’m feeling less than confident, but most of the time, I’m feeling good.

As for the rut – well, I’m afraid to say I’ve been up and down. As most of you know, I struggle, like many, with depression and take a daily medication to treat the symptoms. I’m not ashamed, and I don’t shy away from talking about – if I was diabetic and had to take insulin, I’d be honest about it. I have a condition that I’ve struggled with ever since I can remember, and I need to take a pill to be at my best. Unfortunately, from time to time, I need to have that medication tweaked, and sometimes it takes me a little while to realize it. This was one of those times.

I’ve also struggled with my maintenance – a week or two OP, then a week full-fledged off. I’m working on balance, not depriving myself and forgiving the weeks when I’m not OP or working out as hard as I know I can.

I think I have the depression under control at the moment (thanks to a new med and a $95 co-pay), and while I’ve put on a few pounds, I’m still about five pounds under my goal weight, which I’ve been at for over six months now.

My half-marathon training took a little bit of a setback when I got an infection in the nailbed around one of my toes, but I’m optimistic that I’ll be able to run most of it. My philosophy now is that I want to finish, it doesn’t have to be pretty, but I want to cross that finish line under my own power, even if it’s crawling on my hands and knees.

Working the next couple of days, but hoping to stay on track and get in some good workouts.

In closing, I read this today, courtesy of Karina Smirnoff of Dancing With the Stars via her partner J.R. Martinez, and I wanted to share it – “Failure is not falling down but refusing to get up”. My days of falling down may not be over, but my days of refusing to get ups are.