Adaptation

I love books, and I love movies, so it would stand to reason that I would j'adore books turned into movies. Unfortunately, like many a blind date, I've been disappointed with what has been in front of me.

Like a lot of people, when I read a great book I start casting the main characters. I'm still ticked off that the casting director of Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire didn't read my mind and know that Sean Connery was born to play Professor Moody.

In no particular order, I wanted to share my top 5, bottom 5 and some books that I love so much I'm not sure I ever want to see a move made out of them.

By the way, the jury is out on My Sister's Keeper - I've heard the ending has been changed so that makes me nervous. Very nervous.

Top 5 Awsomest Book Adaptations

1. Bridget Jones Diary - I can't say for sure that I had even read the book before I saw the move. What I do know is that I love this move, and not just because apparently Bridget and I share the same birthday (November 10 - seriously). The fight scene between Mark Darcy and Daniel Cleaver was one of the best "pretty boy" movie fights I've ever seen, and the reality of wanting to improve oneself yet somehow falling short in the execution is so true.


2. A Time to Kill - amazing movie that at the time I read it I couldn't imagine that a move would (or could) be made out of it. The opening scene in the book is the brutal rape of a child, and the repercussions of that echo through the movie. No easy way to film something like that, yet it was handled in a way that you knew the father had no choice. It was also cool to see Matthew McConaughey before the naked bongo playing fiasco.

3. The Princess Bride - so many quotes, so little time. There is a part of me that wants to have the officiant start my wedding with speech impediment. No, not really. OK, maybe a little.

4. Interview with a Vampire - I struggled with including this one. There are parts of this movie I hate, hate, hate - see below. But the point of redemption for me is at the very end. If you haven't seen it, I won't ruin it for you. If you have: Tom Cruise driving a convertible, Guns 'N Roses covering the Stones on the radio. Made the previous 90+ minutes worth it for me.

5. The Devil Wears Prada - Meryl Streep...Anne Hathaway...Gucci...Prada...sigh. Perfection - truly porn for the Vogue set. I also get to laugh because my father DVR'd it thinking it was something very different. I'm not sure he was prepared for Stanley Tucci playing someone in the fashion industry.

Honorable Mention: The Stand - ok, technically a TV movie, but still captured the book pretty well, even if Molly Ringwald was Frannie. True confession, the book scared me so much that when I read it I would throw it under my bed when I was done reading for the night. Not as bad as Joey on Friends putting The Shining in the freezer, but close.


5 Worst Book Adaptations

1. Confessions of a Shopaholic - I'll never forget the first time I read this book in 2001. Back when Bridget Jones Diary came out, there were so many people proclaiming that they felt Bridget Jones was the story of their life. This was mine. I was at first thrilled when I heard a movie was being made - less so when I heard Becky was going to be American, and even more disappointed when I found out they were smashing the first two books together. Ugh...

2. Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban - Ironically one of my favorite Harry Potter books, but I didn't love the adaptation. The lighting was too dark and strange and I didn't love some of the casting. Just overall not my fave.

3. Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason - too much of the second book was left out of this move (hello? Where was the contractor?). Some people have cited the fact that Helen Fielding didn't write a 3rd Bridget Jones book as an obstacle to a 3rd movie. I say the fact that the 2nd book was for the most part ignored didn't stand in the way of the second movie. Maybe the the 3rd movie could be the film the 2nd one should have been.

4. Interview with a Vampire - before Brad Pitt became my fantasy baby daddy, he did some movies that I didn't love. The character of Louis in this move was a tough one to even like. Whiny, mopey, hair was way too long - I wanted to shove him out of the house and lock him outside at broad daylight.

5. The Firm - saw the movie, read the book, had to go back and see the movie again to make sure it was the same animal. My biggest beef was the completely different ending. In my opinion, all that the two had in common was a title and character names, other than that, two different animals.

Honorable Mention: P.S. I Love You - I read this book and sobbed. I saw the move and fell asleep. Again committing the mortal sin of changing venue, this time from Ireland, and setting the main action to the US. Harry Connick couldn't save this movie for me.

This is the list with the longest title, and the hardest for me to write

Books I Would Like to See Made into Movies, but With Strict Supervision

1. Bitter is the New Black - if you haven't read Jen Lancaster's hilarious books, then go read them now. Seriously - I'll wait. Her voice sounds like mine (at least I wish it did). Her sarcasm should be licensed and her knack for story telling made me laugh out loud on a flight from Philadelphia to Seattle, complete with snorking. People were staring at me I was laughing so hard. I read her latest book, Pretty in Plaid in roughly 24 hours it was that good. I wanted more and can't wait for her next book.

2. Everywhere That Mary Went - one of Lisa Scottoline's first books. As a suburban Philadelphian, I love reading Lisa's books and noting the city scape - her mentions of the Round House, the Blue Route, Philly accents - if you aren't from Philly, you might not get the references, but her stories are great, and her steady characters like Mary DiNunzio and her family, Mary's friend and co-worker Judy and her boss Bennie Rosato are all memorable. And who the hell names a character Pigeon Tony? Only a Philly girl would.

3. The Queen's Fool - another one of Philippa Gregory's books was made into a movie - The Other Boleyn Girl. This tells the story of Queen Elizabeth's court from the eyes of an outsider. This was the first book I read by this author and it had me hooked.

4. Jemima J - a great book by Jane Green about an overweight single woman who creates a fantasy dating profile. She enters into a virtual relationship with a man who believes her to be something that she is not -oh and just so happens to own a gym, and then has to deal with the consequences when the time comes to meet him in person. Side note - I'd like to see Hollywood made a move about a fat girl starring an actual fat girl - not Cameron Diaz wearing a size 6 or Kate Winslet in a size 8.

5. One Hit Wonder - the title is just what it implies - it's about a one hit wonder, estranged from her family, who is never heard from again. She is found dead in her flat in London 15 years later. Her half-sister, long estranged, travels to London to find out more about her sister. By Lisa Jewell.

So, how about you? What books made into movies do you love? Which ones were you disappointed in?

Recap

So it’s been a little while since I’ve blogged, aside from my admittedly odd Kenny Rodgers homage. For the record, The Gambler is a great song, and one that I wish I had really listened to a few years ago.

Anyhow, I’m going to try not to get bogged down by the negative, but if I’m being honest, here is where my head’s been at over the past few weeks.

The Run
I ran a 5k about three weeks ago. To be honest, the wind was zapped from my sails before I had even run the race. Someone close to me hurt me in connection with the race, and I never really recovered my enthusiasm. I know that this person never intended to hurt me, but there it is.

Nevertheless, I ran on race day, but the joy wasn’t there. I still haven’t quite found my mojo again, but I’m working on it.

The Diet
Sadly, the run and the diet are pretty closely connected. Let’s just say that once I recover my mojo there will be a bit more of me recovering it. ‘Nuff said.

The Darkness
Not just a fairly awesome Brit band, but also what I call my depression. For the record, I also call it The Blackness. When I get like that, the world sucks. I feel like food has no taste, even though I eat enough of it. Water doesn’t quench my thirst, sleep doesn’t refresh, and coffee doesn’t wake me up. I’ve been in that pit for the past couple of weeks.

People offer to help, but I don’t know how to accept it. If I’m being totally honest, there is a part of me that doesn’t want to accept it. I almost relish the feeling of despair while hating it at the same time. I want people to want to help me, but not actually help me. I’m a mini Sylvia Plath without the gas oven. I feel as if I am marinating in a pit of self-pity, not to put too fine of a point on it, and I like the pruny fingers.

I’m just a big old ray of sunshine.

Fortunately, I’m finally coming out of it.

Once the cloud starts to lift I can see how miserable I’ve been, and feel regret for the bitch I’ve morphed into. If I have hurt you, let you down or otherwise disappointed you, I am sorry.

I wish I could say it won’t happen again, but I’m pretty sure it will. Fatalistic? Maybe. Realistic? Yep.

I’ve been this way for a long time – easily since the age of 12. I like to think that as I’ve gotten older I’ve gotten a little bit better at masking the symptoms, but nobody’s perfect.

Life is noting but a series opportunities to learn.

I’m still learning.

I have a great deal to learn.

Wisdom

An update to my sorry little blog is sorely needed, but I'm out of time, more importantly inspiration. Until inspiration and a time turner show up on my door step, I'll share with you some words of wisdom imparted to me by a prolific singer/songwriter...

"Just dance...gonna be ok...da da doo-doo mmm...."

Ok, not that singer/song writer, but another one. One that some may find a bit out of character for me, but the words resonate.

I tend to hold on longer than I should...things, relationships, etc...it's cheesy, but still truer words were never spoken.

Here goes....

On a warm summers evenin on a train bound for nowhere,
I met up with the gambler; we were both too tired to sleep.
So we took turns a starin out the window at the darkness
til boredom overtook us, and he began to speak.

He said, son, I've made a life out of readin peoples faces,
And knowin what their cards were by the way they held their eyes.
So if you dont mind my sayin, I can see you're out of aces.
For a taste of your whiskey I'll give you some advice.

So I handed him my bottle and he drank down my last swallow.
Then he bummed a cigarette and asked me for a light.
And the night got deathly quiet, and his face lost all expression.
Said, if youre gonna play the game, boy, ya gotta learn to play it right.

You got to know when to hold em, know when to fold em,
Know when to walk away and know when to run.
You never count your money when youre sittin at the table.
There'll be time enough for countin when the dealins done.

Now ev'ry gambler knows that the secret to survivin
Is knowin what to throw away and knowing what to keep.
cause ev'ry hands a winner and ev'ry hands a loser,
And the best that you can hope for is to die in your sleep.

So when he'd finished speakin, he turned back towards the window,
Crushed out his cigarette and faded off to sleep.
And somewhere in the darkness the gambler, he broke even.
But in his final words I found an ace that I could keep.

You got to know when to hold em, know when to fold em,
Know when to walk away and know when to run.
You never count your money when youre sittin at the table.
Therell be time enough for countin when the dealins done.

You got to know when to hold em, know when to fold em,
Know when to walk away and know when to run.
You never count your money when youre sittin at the table.
Therell be time enough for countin when the dealins done

© Sony/atv Tunes D/b/a Cross Keys Pub