Virtue Points

As most of you know, I've embarked on weight loss attempt 496.

I've gone back to my old stand by, Weight Watchers, and am hoping that the combination of old faithful with my newly acquired trainer and my friends and family, that this time will stick.

This week has been a rough one. Apparently Wednesday was National Junk Food Day (which I ignored) and as I sit here typing I am smelling the remaining french fries from my father's dinner. It is taking everything within me not to attack them. In fact, I'm tempted to interrupt this entry to desecrate them with my kryptonite, mustard and mayo.

In fact, hold on....

Thanks for waiting. That's better. Now the handful of french fries that have been sitting in styrofoam singing their siren song have been silenced, for as much as I love fried potatoes, I despise mustard and mayo more.

That brings me to my next point. Virtue Points.

For the uninitiated, in Weight Watchers, the current program is based on points. Based on your weight and situation in life (age, active job, nursing, etc) you get a certain number of points which convert to food. The way you calculate points is an algorithm based on calories, fat and fiber. You also get a "bank" of 35 points per week which you can take or leave, plus you get points for physical activity which you can use for more food if you choose. The key is finding the maximum number of points you can consume while still losing weight.

In a perfect world, one would get what I call "Virtue Points". I have resisted french fries tonight, therefore I would get, oh let's say 5 virtue points, which of course would translate into pounds lost. On Monday, I really wanted pizza. I didn't have it, so I should have lost weight, or gained virtue points, based on this.

Flawed logic, or genius? Maybe it's the Pinot talking (1.5 points for 4 ounces), but I think I'm onto something.

Weight Watchers (and God), I await your call.

Long(ish) Time, No Blog

Wow...I must be the most inconsistent blogger ever. I go weeks posting every couple of days, and the bam! Nothing.

Perhaps it's the mini-break from online rejection, I mean dating. Less amusing (to me) stories to tell born out of frustration. Or perhaps it's the new exercise regime. The brain cells I had allocated to blogging are now being eaten up by the lack of oxygen getting to my teeny, tiny brain.

As for the weight loss, I'm still on track. I'm in the midst of week three and I'm down 8.8 pounds (roughly 85 to go, but who's counting?). I'm making progress with the exercise. My first day back at the gym I clocked 20 minutes on the treadmill and a whopping 6 1/2 minutes on the stair master. I'm now up to 20 on the stair master and last night I managed 25 on the elliptical. I looked like a drowned rat by the time I was done, but it's progress and I'll take it.

The hardest part for me is the patience. I want to see results NOW. If I thought she'd go for it, I'd ask my doctor to put me in a medically induced coma so I could be fed nothing but Slim Fast through an IV. I'd pay off the nurses to work my muscles so they didn't atrophy and arrange to have a full body lift done before I woke up.

I think I've put way too much thought into this. To be fair, I wanted to do the same thing while I was growing my hair out so I didn't have to deal with the horrible in between stage. I avoid unpleasant things - it's just how I roll.

So, I guess I'm going to have to suffer through.

Thanks for the encouragement!

Oops, I Did It Again

No, not that.

I sang karaoke, in public, again.

I went out with my friend R Saturday night, ostensibly to meet her friend S (Bachelor Number 3 for those of you keeping count). We didn't head out until later than planned and went to a bar I've only been to one other time instead of our planned trek into Philly.

Side Note: Bach No. 3 lives in Philly and because of the 4th of July events this past weekend, he was stuck in traffic and didn't make it to the burbs, so the meeting has been postponed.

We settled in at the bar and I realized it was karaoke night. R, who has a great voice and sings any chance she can (music or no) grabbed the books and was up at the mike before I knew it. I sucked down my first of two cranberry & vodkas and figured why the hell not.

I opened up the book and looked for a song I was pretty confident I knew the words to, and picked up a slip. R's girlfriend J glanced over and, warily, asked "Are you going to sing?". "Yep" I slurred.

Before I had a chance to talk myself out of it, I walked up to the table and dropped off my slip. After a shot of tequila and getting halfway through my second drink, I heard my name.

I marched up, grabbed the microphone, and massacred "Before He Cheats". No rotten food was thrown (the kitchen was closed), nobody booed (at least not that I could hear) and I survived. I was so off-key at various points I think I was singing a whole other song, but I had fun.

In other news, went to a BBQ at a neighbor's house tonight and was in the presence of BATS for the first time since last week. I did my best to ignore him without being a rude bitch, although I really wanted to be. I'm making peace with the whole thing. It's not his fault he's clueless, and if he's not into me, then that's his loss.

I'm also telling myself he looks like Mr. Potato Head.

Laughter is the best medicine, isn't it?

In Weight Watchers news, I'm down 7 pounds my first week. I have no idea why, although the fact I had eaten a full breakfast with 2 cups of coffee before my first weigh in may have stacked the deck, but I'm taking it. I made it to the gym four times last week and went today despite not wanting to, and I'm going to conquer the Stair Master if it's the last thing I do, even if it's one minute at a time.

Back to reality tomorrow.

Hope you all had a Happy 4th!

Torn

Perhaps I should call this It's Complicated, Part Two.

I thinking about putting myself back on the bench.

OK, OK, I hear what you're saying, I've only been back in the dating world for a few weeks and I'm already thinking about taking a break, WTF? I know, but hear me out.

I've been on Match.com and eHarmony and throwing myself at clueless neighbors, and clearly am not having much success. Yes, Rome wasn't built in a day, but there is a part of me that feels like maybe I'm not in the right place to go marching down this road.

My body confidence, while never good, is at a pretty low point, especially after going to WW last week and seeing the ugly truth. All I can focus on at this point is size of my considerable belly right now, and it's not cute.

I can also feel the noonday demon sneaking back up on me, and I know I need to get that in check.

But is that a good enough reason? I don't know.

I keep reminding myself that I'm not getting any younger, and if I want to have children (which I think I do),I'm not exactly playing with a great deal of time. Which brings me to the next issue...

Maybe I'm too judgemental, or too quick to dismiss, but I do know that I am wary, and a lot of the people I'm meeting online aren't screaming Mr. Right. What I don't want to do is settle because I feel like I'm up against the clock, and I feel like I'm doing that. I've also found myself stifling who I am in order to get a date from someone I've never met and who I'm not even sure about. Seriously, what the hell is that about?

So perhaps a bit of time to regroup is in order.

Just not for 10 years.

Something to sleep on.