I feel like my past few entries have been way too deep. Here’s something that I hope is a bit lighthearted.
I’m a single parent this weekend. I haven’t suddenly given birth or inherited the tow-headed moppets of a long lost relative.
I have two dogs.
I usually have backup – I live with my parents and they are a big part of why I can have two dogs and work full time outside of the house. While I know that raising a dog will never be the same as having a child, there are some similarities. Like a baby or toddler, they depend on you for everything – food, biological needs, stimulation, keeping them from getting into trouble where you least expect it and they can’t tell you what’s wrong when they are sick or afraid. Unlike a child, I know that my dogs will always depend on me for these needs. The only difference is I can leave them alone for a few hours without fear of being investigated by Children and Youth.
I’ve often looked at my friends with more than two children with a special kind of awe. “You do know you’re going from a man-to-man to a zone defense, don’t you?” I’ve asked more than one glowing friend expecting her third child. “Oh, we’ll be fine” they’ve confidently told me. I guess they have since I still get Christmas cards with three, sometimes four, smiling cherubs on them. All I can say is “wow!”.
So this weekend, it’s two against one. Mom and dad are down the shore, and for the first time since adopting Candie, it’s just me and dogs. When I started scheming to get another dog, I thought it would make things easier. They’ll play with each other, they’ll keep each other entertained. Reality? So not the case.
I worked from home yesterday, which my oldest (Bogey) decided that I was home solely to entertain him and allow him leisurely potty breaks. The youngest decided she was going to wait until her alpha-male came home to do anything outside. Yes, I did stand outside at one point begging, “C’mon Candie, sh*t for mommy”. As expected, sometime around 4:00, Bogey stood in front of me barking for a half an hour. One of my friends suggested he was trying to tell me that Timmy fell down the well.
We got through dinner time with flying colors. I was settling in with my glass of pinot, when the phone rang. “Mike and I want to go to the Wings game, do you think you could watch Tara?”. From experience, I know Tara and Bogey are a handful, Lord only knows what adding Candie to the mix was going to do, and since I had already had the better part of my glass, they had to bring her to me. “Sure Kel, bring her over”.
Candie, as usual, alerted me to the home invasion by howling loudly. Bogey got excited by his human plaything. Tara, dressed in bright pink footie pajamas, ran around the dining room table trying to avoid Bogey’s sloppy kisses. I poured another glass of wine.
Around 9:00, I convinced Tara that we should start taking it down a notch and we settled in to watch the movie she brought. I was hoping for something along the lines of Kung-Fu Panda, WALL-E or that children’s classic, Apocalypse Now. My hopes were dashed – a four episode omnibus of The Backyardigans.
There we were – me and Tara snuggled on my dad’s recliner, Candie curled up on the couch, and Bogey mauling a dog toy as an after-dinner snack. Not wanting to go to the emergency vet for surgery to remove Lord-knows what from Bogey’s digestive system, I managed to distract the him long enough to get the toy away from him and shoved it behind me away from view.
Tara fell asleep, Bogey and Candie followed suit. I sat pinned under Tara’s weight wondering why my lower back was throbbing, forgetting about the toy I shoved behind me, watching four disturbingly colored and shaped creatures singing repetitive songs about things like chichen-itza pizza and singing telegrams. Yeah, I watched.
Yes, I did think about turning it off once I realized Tara was asleep; I didn’t because I was afraid of her waking up. I was also horrified/fascinated as I often am by children’s television. Somewhere around 10:00 I figured if you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em and dozed off as well.
Around 11:00 Candie again alerted me to an intruder, howing loudly as my I tried to figure out where the hell I was, why I couldn’t move and why I had a dream about a pink singing Uniqua. Tara’s parents arrived to retrieve their child; I tried to convince them to take one of the dogs with them. They declined and ran with the one child they brought.
I’m down to two “kids” again, counting down the hours until reinforcements arrive. I’m still in awe of large families, and I have a renewed sympathy for the moms and dads who are subjected to endless hours of children’s television.
So, while they’ll always be toddlers, I’ll take my dogs. They might try to steal my dinner, they need me to get up early when I’d rather sleep, and while they’ll never buy me a summer home in France, I don’t have to negotiate for the TV.
I adore my niece, but I think I’ll continue to rent. Dogs Rule.
I’m a single parent this weekend. I haven’t suddenly given birth or inherited the tow-headed moppets of a long lost relative.
I have two dogs.
I usually have backup – I live with my parents and they are a big part of why I can have two dogs and work full time outside of the house. While I know that raising a dog will never be the same as having a child, there are some similarities. Like a baby or toddler, they depend on you for everything – food, biological needs, stimulation, keeping them from getting into trouble where you least expect it and they can’t tell you what’s wrong when they are sick or afraid. Unlike a child, I know that my dogs will always depend on me for these needs. The only difference is I can leave them alone for a few hours without fear of being investigated by Children and Youth.
I’ve often looked at my friends with more than two children with a special kind of awe. “You do know you’re going from a man-to-man to a zone defense, don’t you?” I’ve asked more than one glowing friend expecting her third child. “Oh, we’ll be fine” they’ve confidently told me. I guess they have since I still get Christmas cards with three, sometimes four, smiling cherubs on them. All I can say is “wow!”.
So this weekend, it’s two against one. Mom and dad are down the shore, and for the first time since adopting Candie, it’s just me and dogs. When I started scheming to get another dog, I thought it would make things easier. They’ll play with each other, they’ll keep each other entertained. Reality? So not the case.
I worked from home yesterday, which my oldest (Bogey) decided that I was home solely to entertain him and allow him leisurely potty breaks. The youngest decided she was going to wait until her alpha-male came home to do anything outside. Yes, I did stand outside at one point begging, “C’mon Candie, sh*t for mommy”. As expected, sometime around 4:00, Bogey stood in front of me barking for a half an hour. One of my friends suggested he was trying to tell me that Timmy fell down the well.
We got through dinner time with flying colors. I was settling in with my glass of pinot, when the phone rang. “Mike and I want to go to the Wings game, do you think you could watch Tara?”. From experience, I know Tara and Bogey are a handful, Lord only knows what adding Candie to the mix was going to do, and since I had already had the better part of my glass, they had to bring her to me. “Sure Kel, bring her over”.
Candie, as usual, alerted me to the home invasion by howling loudly. Bogey got excited by his human plaything. Tara, dressed in bright pink footie pajamas, ran around the dining room table trying to avoid Bogey’s sloppy kisses. I poured another glass of wine.
Around 9:00, I convinced Tara that we should start taking it down a notch and we settled in to watch the movie she brought. I was hoping for something along the lines of Kung-Fu Panda, WALL-E or that children’s classic, Apocalypse Now. My hopes were dashed – a four episode omnibus of The Backyardigans.
There we were – me and Tara snuggled on my dad’s recliner, Candie curled up on the couch, and Bogey mauling a dog toy as an after-dinner snack. Not wanting to go to the emergency vet for surgery to remove Lord-knows what from Bogey’s digestive system, I managed to distract the him long enough to get the toy away from him and shoved it behind me away from view.
Tara fell asleep, Bogey and Candie followed suit. I sat pinned under Tara’s weight wondering why my lower back was throbbing, forgetting about the toy I shoved behind me, watching four disturbingly colored and shaped creatures singing repetitive songs about things like chichen-itza pizza and singing telegrams. Yeah, I watched.
Yes, I did think about turning it off once I realized Tara was asleep; I didn’t because I was afraid of her waking up. I was also horrified/fascinated as I often am by children’s television. Somewhere around 10:00 I figured if you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em and dozed off as well.
Around 11:00 Candie again alerted me to an intruder, howing loudly as my I tried to figure out where the hell I was, why I couldn’t move and why I had a dream about a pink singing Uniqua. Tara’s parents arrived to retrieve their child; I tried to convince them to take one of the dogs with them. They declined and ran with the one child they brought.
I’m down to two “kids” again, counting down the hours until reinforcements arrive. I’m still in awe of large families, and I have a renewed sympathy for the moms and dads who are subjected to endless hours of children’s television.
So, while they’ll always be toddlers, I’ll take my dogs. They might try to steal my dinner, they need me to get up early when I’d rather sleep, and while they’ll never buy me a summer home in France, I don’t have to negotiate for the TV.
I adore my niece, but I think I’ll continue to rent. Dogs Rule.
P.S. On a serious note, please keep my friend Joe in your prayers. He's fighting - hard, but he can't do it alone. Choose Hope!
1 comment:
so funny! I have two toddlers - an 18 month old little man and a 2 year old puppy-girl! I feel for you and hope you are never a single parent again. I absolutely run to my mom's with both in tow when my husband goes out of town :) can not deal!
meanwhile, I love this blog. I am officially now going to stalk!
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