Going Back to the Well

My name is Beth and I'm a food-a-holic.

I've been off the wagon for two and a half weeks now.

Sure, I've tired - oatmeal with brown sugar and one (or two) slices of bacon for breakfast and not a sesame seed bagel with full fat cream cheese and three slices of bacon. A turkey sandwich (with cheese (and sometimes even more bacon)) for lunch and a quasi-decent dinner. An improvement over the cheesestreak and fries and medium pizza. Still, nowhere near where I should be.

Curves has been more hit than miss, and the treadmill is getting that layer of dust back on it.

I knew I was in trouble when I got one of the specials in the cafeteria today for lunch - chicken breast with cheese and bacon (have I mentioned how much I love bacon?) on a kaiser with a side of fries for lunch. To be fair, I didn't take the full portion of fries - the "boat" was about 1/4 full as opposed to overflowing, but still, there were fries in it.

Where did it all go wrong? Two weeks ago I got a new car, fairly stressful, at least for me. I'm not sure where it ranks in the new job, new house, death of a loved one, etc. ranking of stressful events, but seeing as how I live with the 'rents and I consider myself one step away from living in my car, it's up there on my list.

The worst part? I lost just under three pounds the first week I was quasi-off the wagon, and down 1/2 lb on my second week off of the wagon. My large ass is pretty much fully off the wagon this week.

I wonder what the scale is going to say this Friday?

Still, I'm determined the pay the piper, and I'm trying to focus on the positives.

I ate 1/3 of the superfluous bag of Cheese-Its today, and not the full bag. The fry boat was only 1/4 full. I haven't gone over to the bagel with cream cheese side - yet. So I'm trying to stop it now.

To paraphrase Usher, these are my confessions...

I have a 5k this weekend. Nowhere near trained for it, but I've signed up for it and I suspect that rather than running I'll be walking. That's OK. The fact is, I'm going to haul my ass 3.2 miles by foot when I'd much rather drive.

I'm also down 18 pounds since I've started on this journey. I may have gained some back - I'll know on Friday - but it stops now.

I'm rededicating myself - I'm committing myself to losing 30 pounds this summer via www.biggestloser.com, the Pounds for Pound challenge and Weight Watchers. I'm going back to the well for inspiration before my 18 pound loss becomes a 25 pound gain. I hope this qualifies as change.