Wired for Sound

I had a sleep study last night. Let me start off by saying, in my semi-delirious state, that I think it's funny that they call it a "sleep" study, since that's the last thing I felt like doing.

Let me get back to be beginning. For the past few years, much like a 9 month old, I've had problems sleeping through the night. Falling asleep (eventually) isn't the problem, but come 2:00 am, it's me and the clock having a face-off. Also, I've joined the ranks of the snorers in the family, that is if you believe my sister and my father, the two people who rattle the windows when they sleep.

I mentioned it to my doctor the last time I went in, and sure enough, she suggested a sleep study. I snarkily told her that I suspected it would confirm I can't sleep with crap hooked up to me, but she insisted.

To be fair, the folks at the Center for Sleep Medicine in Lafayette Hill kick ass, even if they didn't let me finish watching the 10:00 episode of Law & Order SVU on USA. Michelle made me feel like I was just checking into a spartan hotel, and Mark definitely took the weirdness out of being plugged in to go to sleep.

The getting "put to bed" part took roughly 30 minutes. Let me paint you a picture...

I started by shoving wires down the shorts of my PJs, then I had a band put around my chest, another around my abdomen. Then I had sensors put on my chest and abdomen. We went into another room from which I emerged looking like something from a sci-fi movie. I had more wires attached to me then I ever imagined possible. Here's what I can recall from the top of my head (literally)- one behind each of my ears, another under my jaw. Two at my temples, one under each of my eyes, and then three on various parts of my head. Add in the two mics put in my nose, and the pluse/ox monitor on my index finger, and I was, literally, wired for sound.

I was then escorted to my bed where I was plugged into a PC, and then put through a bizarre version of the hokey pokey to calibrate the machines - look left, look right, flex your left foot, flex your fight, blink five times, etc. I eventually fell asleep and for the first time in my life, I was actually happy I woke up in the middle of the night. A part of me felt validated in my sleep issues despite having to lay in a strange bed, in a strange room with an infra-red camera pointed at me, trying to go back to sleep.

7:30 came way too soon, when I was rousted from bed, disconnected and sent on my way. I made it back home, got through both my full time and part time jobs, and instead of going to bed like a normal person, I'm updating my blog and wishing I had the foresight to have had my cell phone closer to my bed so I could have taken a picture for posterity.

I should know in a week or so what exactly the deal is - my money is on sleep apnea and general insomnia.

Until then...sweet dreams.