Rehab

It's been a bad week, well WW and workout wise. I haven't tracked my food since last Friday, haven't been to the gym since last Thursday. My water consumption has been sketchy and my energy levels are low.

Let's turn back the clock, shall we?

I decided last Friday I needed a mini-break, both from WW and the gym, in light of my milestone 40+ pound weight loss. Fabulous...no problem, right? Take two days off, back on track. Yeah, not so much. Two days off became three, three became four and here we are, Wednesday, six days out.

I'm not where I was six months ago. I've had french fries, my culinary nirvana, twice in those six days, where six months ago it was twice a day. I haven't been all bad. No bacon has entered the picture.

As an example, today I had oatmeal (not measured) from the cafeteria with cinnamon and some brown sugar. Lunch was a turkey club (with cheese) on a semolina roll, no mayo, a few chips and I only ate 2/3 of the sandwich. Dinner was actually WW friendly - whole wheat pasta, grilled chicken, mushrooms. The past few days have been same - 2 out of three meals ok'ish, one misdemeanor bad.

To be honest, I'm lost and a little scared that I'm slipping. I've been down this road before - just a few days off becomes a week, a week becomes a month.

I don't have a good excuse for not being on program. Nobody's died, I'm not away and on a real vacation. I just didn't "want to" this week - I didn't want to sweat, having to wash and dry my hair, forcing it into a style and spending a half an hour planning and measuring food for the next day. I didn't want to come home late from work to two irate dogs. I just didn't want to.

But who the hell wants to do any of that? I'm pretty sure, if you're being honest, you don't want to. I resent having to. I resent having a shitty metabolism (because of my own doing). I resent being short (love you mom!). I resent loving carbs and not grilled salmon.

Tomorrow is a new day. Who cares if the WW week is just about over. I'm resigning myself to a gain on Friday. Tomorrow isn't about mitigating damage, it's about getting back into the routine. Next week isn't going to be much better (work dinner on Monday, so no gym; all day meeting on Tuesday with a late finish time, so again, probably no gym).

It's a marathon, not a sprint. I'm not a marathon runner, and unfortunately since this isn't a relay (and therefore I can't ask somebody to run a leg for me), please do the next best thing. Cheer for me. Send me positive vibes. Lift me up on Friday so I'm not too heavy on the scale.