Dear Santa

Dear Santa

I know it's been a while...something like, what, 27 years? Well, I've decided to believe in you again. I'm also welcoming the Tooth Fairy back into the fold in light of my recent dental work, so if you can let her know, I'd appreciate it.

You should know that I have been a very good girl this year. Well, not exactly very good, but definitely good. OK, good enough? Right, well, I haven't killed anyone this year, ok?

So...this is kind of awkward since I've sent quite some time denying your existence (my bad), but since there's only a few more days until Christmas, I need to get on the stick to let you know what I want.

- Another 5k in my salary. I hope you take into account that I could be greedy here and ask for another zero (the 35 year old equivalent of asking for a pony), so please, you're Santa after all. Nothing's impossible for you. And if you want to add another zero to my salary, I completely understand if you want to mess around with the first number.

- A boyfriend. Let me clarify - a quality boyfriend who doesn't live with his parents (ahem), has a good job, clean medical history and can provide 3 years audited financial statements along with a complete medical workup. Kids OK as long as the ex-wife isn't a nightmare

- An Hermes Kelly bag. Again, being reasonable here, but if you want to upgrade the a Birkin, I'll take that too. I know we're in a recession, so if resources are limited for you as well Santa, just as Posh Spice to give up one. She has like...a million.

- Gisele Bundchen's body. I know she just had a baby and I'd be willing to do the work to lose the baby weight. But let's face it Santa, especially if you see when I'm sleeping and know when I'm awake, Gisele looks better on her worst day than I do on my best.

Since I am a grownup, I guess I should ask for some stuff to help other people out.

- An end to this recession and sustained job growth. Please Santa let everyone have a job that wants one (or needs one)

- An end to the hostility in the world. Please bring our soldiers safely home

- An end to poverty and hunger in the world. That does sound a little beauty contestant, doesn't it?

- Heath care for everybody

- Oh, some toys for my dogs; a bottle of scotch for my dad and a Kindle for my mom. I'm sure you'll be hearing from the rest of the family and my friends real soon so I won't duplicate their requests.

Well, that's it. I hope it's not too much. You might have a problem with stuffing the boyfriend down the chimney, so I can leave a key under the mat for you. I'll leave the milk and cookies out for you.

Love,

Beth

P.S. Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night!