Perhaps I should call this It's Complicated, Part Two.
I thinking about putting myself back on the bench.
OK, OK, I hear what you're saying, I've only been back in the dating world for a few weeks and I'm already thinking about taking a break, WTF? I know, but hear me out.
I've been on Match.com and eHarmony and throwing myself at clueless neighbors, and clearly am not having much success. Yes, Rome wasn't built in a day, but there is a part of me that feels like maybe I'm not in the right place to go marching down this road.
My body confidence, while never good, is at a pretty low point, especially after going to WW last week and seeing the ugly truth. All I can focus on at this point is size of my considerable belly right now, and it's not cute.
I can also feel the noonday demon sneaking back up on me, and I know I need to get that in check.
But is that a good enough reason? I don't know.
I keep reminding myself that I'm not getting any younger, and if I want to have children (which I think I do),I'm not exactly playing with a great deal of time. Which brings me to the next issue...
Maybe I'm too judgemental, or too quick to dismiss, but I do know that I am wary, and a lot of the people I'm meeting online aren't screaming Mr. Right. What I don't want to do is settle because I feel like I'm up against the clock, and I feel like I'm doing that. I've also found myself stifling who I am in order to get a date from someone I've never met and who I'm not even sure about. Seriously, what the hell is that about?
So perhaps a bit of time to regroup is in order.
Just not for 10 years.
Something to sleep on.
1 comment:
I'll tell you a little secret... I tried match for about 1.5 wks. Then I realized.. dude, this is NOT for me. this is not the way for me to date. But it was another one of those things I had to try to see if it was right for me.
I've actually met a few good dudes randomly when I wasn't paying attention after I quit the site. I quit the site but didn't give up the idea of dating, I just gave up the idea of trying to "go outside my norm", like why? why would I do that? My "norm" is what makes me ME.
just be your norm dude, he'll show up. and until he does we will talk smack on all the mr. wrongs in btwn. : )
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