Be Kind for Everyone You Meet is Fighting a Hard Battle

I’ve been meditating on this phrase. Perhaps it’s melodramatic, but it is so true. Not to sound Dickensian, but when I was younger I went through some pretty rough times. I was horribly depressed – struggling to understand what was happening and desperately wanting to be understood. In the midst of all this, I felt that I had suffered many hurts, real and imagined. I am sure I brought some of them on myself. When I was in my “black” moods, as I called them, I was not a terribly nice person. I snapped, I shut down, I blew up. I didn’t know how to express what I was feeling – that I was in a dark pit and I didn’t know how to crawl out.

It took me a long time to get help – I am not ashamed to say that I went to my doctor and sought medication. I know that there are a lot of people who feel that anti-depressants are a crutch. I can’t speak for everyone, but for me, I have a real problem, and it is no different than high blood pressure or diabetes. It’s a chronic condition that I need to treat. However, the medication only treats the symptoms; it doesn’t wipe away the past or fix behaviors.

About a year and a half ago, I started to see a therapist, and honestly I didn’t have a great deal of hope that going would help. In the beginning I spent a lot of sessions just crying, but recently I feel like I’ve started to have some breakthroughs.

At one point back in junior high, I found myself on the outside. Through one way or another, I was expelled from my group of friends – shunned in the play yard, excluded from activities. I’m sure that it was a two way street, but at the time I was bewildered. The other day, one of those girls reached out to me. She told that she too had been going through a hard time, one that I could not have even imagined. She told me that she wanted to make amends. It was a no brainer – to say I forgave is pious – there was nothing to forgive after all these years; I should be thanking her instead.


We were all fighting a battle then – we all are fighting a battle now. Some keep it hidden; others like me wear it on their sleeve. This is an important reminder to me: be kind for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.

My therapist says to me from time to time “What about being kind to Bethany?” The first time she said it, I scoffed, but I’m beginning to understand. How can I be kind to others if I can’t be kind to myself? That kindness comes in different ways – what I really wish is I could travel back through time to that sad, lonely, confused 13 year old and tell her that it would all be OK. I never could have imagined that I would be meeting up with some of those same people from grammar school, junior high and high school, and having a great time doing so. I know that I would not be the person I am if I hadn’t gone through what I have. In some ways that’s a good thing, in other ways, that may be bad thing. I am who I am – the good and the bad, and my past experiences have given me insight and, I hope, compassion.

To anyone reading this who I snapped at, ignored, or generally acted like an ass, I am sorry, and I hope I have an opportunity to give you a heartfelt apology. I too am fighting a battle, one that I hope to win.