Spamalot

I’ve been keeping a secret. I hope you’ll indulge me, but it really is too exciting to keep to myself.
I’ve won the British Lottery for 60 Million Euros!!! All I need to do is give my banking information and social security number to this nice person who will help me collect my winnings. Oh, and they’ll also help me with my pesky erectile dysfunction, get a job working from my home processing rebates for Google and help me lose my belly fat without having to diet and exercise!

I am appalled at the amount of spam I get on an average day. The offers range from free diapers and discounted prescription medication to requesting my assistance in getting some deposed dictator’s millions freed from overseas banks.

I know there must be a market for this, otherwise, why would I be inundated with this crap? For the past few days now, I’ve been getting emails from young ladies informing me of the sex acts they like to perform. I feel like responding that while I am very happy for them, they are most definitely barking up the wrong tree.

There are days I get annoyed, especially when I need to wade through the 50+ emails in my spam folder to make sure something I really wanted to see didn’t get filtered there, while hitting the spam button on my tool bar when the errant messages wind up in my Inbox. I wish I could pay someone to wade through my mailbox and sort out the crap from the important stuff. And by important, I mean the notifications from Facebook that someone sent me Flair…oooh, Flair!!!

Until that day comes when I can afford to hire a manservant to deal with my Inbox, I need to approach my mailbox with both a sense of humor and a sense of skepticism. Gotta go, I need to go redeem my $100 American Express gift card.