Even I am getting sick of reading about the tragic state of my personal life, so this is going to be the last blog about my foibles on match and eHarmony (for a little while at least - and by a little while that probably means a week or two).
I've found some interesting opinions among my friends. Some think I'm being too picky - whether it be age, location, hobbies or occupation. Then some think I'm insane for going down this road of on-line dating in the first place. Others offer no such opinion and accept this journey that I'm on. The minority think I'm perfectly within my rights to be picky (they tend to also be single).
Maybe I'm too picky, but I do have some criteria, and I don't care if it makes me hypocritical or a bitch, but I'm going to put them out there, not only for those of you who care, but for the universe. My ideal man:
1. Will want children - or at least hasn't closed the door to the idea of them
2. Will be under the age of 45.
3. Lives in the Commonwealth of PA
4. Is single (never married, divorced or widowed - but under no circumstances will be considered a bigamist if we were to take off and go to Vegas tomorrow to get married)
5. Has a job or has been employed within the past 2 years (bad economy exception). If he is currently unemployed due to circumstances beyond his control, he is actively looking for a job.
6. Does not live in his mama's basement. Yes, I know this is hypocritical considering my living situation, but I'm a girl and I'm allowed to apply different standards to boys.
7. Will not unload his tale of woe in the first email to me - or on the first date for that matter. I don't lay out my baggage in my profile or in introductory emails and I keep it to myself on the first date, I expect him to as well.
8. Has read a book in the past year that he wasn't forced to read because of work.
9. Finally, "gets" my sense of humor
Am I bitch? Maybe, but my friend J yelled at me the other night that I'm not confident enough, and I think that confidence needs to come along with standards.
While I'm at it with one last hurrah, I have another gripe. Apparently us full figured girls aren't on anyones hit parade. News flash boys, we all want a boy with The Situation's abs (just the abs in my case). Oh, and a boy with a full head of hair, or at least the ability to grow one. I'd like to be able to describe myself as a 5'6" blonde with a flat tummy, boobs the size of flotation devices and an IQ to rival Bill Gates. But, in the words of Mick Jaggar, you can't always get what you want. Seeing as we live in the real world, I'm honest, and I try to punch within my weight class. I'm realistic about the guys still single at this point in my life and who might be attracted to me.
I'd like to see the boys do the same.
True story: I ran across the profile of someone I know in real life on one of the sites I'm on. He weighs somewhere north of 350 lbs and describes himself as husky. OK...no problem - he's a nice guy and while not my type I'm sure there is a girl out there for him.
What bothered me was when I looked at how compatible we are (or how we "match") and when we got to body type, while he falls into what I'm looking for, this full figured beauty is not his type. He is only looking for girls who are: athletic and toned, slender, about average and a few extra pounds. He's not the only one - there are a lot of "full figured" guys who are not interested in full figured girls. I know men can drop a few pounds pretty quickly (one of God's many jokes) and many aren't crippled by body insecurities thanks to Vogue, Allure and Glamour, but c'mon, seriously? Let's level the playing field and make Men's Health mandatory reading for all men.
Boys, give us girls with a little junk in the trunk a chance. I'm cute, funny, smart and have a good job. I'm a loyal friend, a decent kisser (at least, I think so, I've never had any complaints) and my bad singing and insane dogs will provide hours of entertainment. Plus I can order a mean pizza.
Ok. I'm done my rant and leaping off of my soap box. I may have a few sleepless nights trying to come up with stuff to write about that isn't on-line dating related, but I'll do my best!
2 comments:
I wouldn't say you're too picky. You've got to have standards! I've also been told that my standards are way too high. Then again, I'm still single, too.
Sigh.
I wouldn't say you're too picky either (except I might reconsider the never married, but I struggled with that. Divorced men and single men both have baggage - it's just what kind can you deal with?). I actually like reading about your adventures and frustrations, and if someone doesn't want to read about them, they can move on. You need catharsis and support, and that's what we're here for. :-)
And the man I married might have settled for a supermodel, but both serious relationships he had (me included) were with plus-sized women. We're forced to have "personality" and some men like that - you're jusy not going to find them on Match. Maybe eHarmony, maybe speed dating. I joined a singles group. Speed dating wasn't my thing - I'm an acquired taste. ;-) It was expensive but worth it.
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